My boyfriend wants me to lose weight! Sometimes, he may even want you to lose weight even though you’re not fat. But whatever the case, it helps to know the signs your boyfriend wants you to lose weight if he has not said it to your face.
Let’s be clear: in talking about weight loss here, this publication does not endorse body shaming.
We all have those highs and lows. Your boyfriend is failing to see that life occasionally gets boring—the party life can sometimes get depressing, and that hot physique might gain a few pounds during the holidays. While in a relationship, understand that you are associating with a fallible person, so expect misunderstandings. When your curvy, party body appears to lose a bit of the 8-figure shape a little bit, it is likely that your boyfriend will want you to lose weight. Apart from his possible observation about your health, an unhealthy sexual life is another underlying subject he may be keeping from you. He probably doesn’t want to say “Babe, I don’t find you sexually attractive anymore,” which affects your relationship. Usually, only self-centered a boyfriend will make you feel fat, despite it being a temporary weight gain of a few pounds.
Signs your boyfriend wants you to lose weight
In cases where he’s not being so open but only showing signs, he might be feeling reluctant to discuss weight loss with you since this is a sensitive subject. Perhaps, he respects you enough to avoid making you feel less of yourself. He’s trying to eat his cake and have it by encouraging you to lose a few pounds without saying ‘fat’ or ‘obese’ to your face.
1. He suddenly asks you to become his gym mate
Asking you to become his gym buddy is a passive-aggressive way of your boyfriend commenting on your weight. He thinks that sweating together outside could be more helping weight-wise. He’s also avoiding a situation where you’ll be forced to lock yourself in a corner and cry “my boyfriend isn’t attracted to me because I gained weight”.
This sign shows that he wants you to be healthy and that he is ready to assist you in doing so. He believes you can both make a great team to achieve the desired health objectives.
2. He frequents taking you on active outdoor dates
You’ve never gone hiking but he suddenly wants you two to do it all the time. If he is suddenly interested in playing sports with you, despite knowing you’re nerds who enjoy board games, that’s a sign he thinks you’re adding extra pounds.
Partake in the weight loss journey together only if you feel comfortable doing it.
3. He begins to talk about health more often
It is okay to bring up diet or fitness plans in conversation. However, if he only suddenly brings up this line of discussion, he is trying to direct your attention to your weight.
A decent method to persuade someone to change is to sometimes let them come to realize it on their own, possibly with a bit of prodding.
4. Your boyfriend suddenly stops junk
If your boyfriend suddenly moves to healthier options in your presence, it’s a sign he wants you to lose weight. He is hoping that by combining his actions, you will be encouraged to start eating healthier. He believes that When you see things from his point of view, you’ll probably want to do what you can to avoid making causing an upset in the relationship—(as explained in the Prevention publication).
5. He keeps complimenting your old photos
He finds an old photo of you on his smartphone and then suddenly starts talking about it. If he keeps gushing over it but says nothing about your current appearance, he’s simply saying you should recover your older figure as he is no longer satisfied with your current condition.
If you notice he constantly talks about how you looked when he first met you or he keeps gazing at your old photo, that’s a sign he wants you to slim down.
If you discover that your partner is always mesmerized by your past images and wishes you would lose weight, he may not be open about preferring your older look but he means it. Note that it’s still up to you to decide whether it’s necessary to work on your appearance or not.
6. He mistakenly compliments another women’s habits
This has to be a mistake because it bursts from that feeling of resentment he has been nurturing within him instead of opening up that you need to drop a few pounds. Good Therapy identifies some signs of resentment such as the inability to stop thinking about an event that triggered strong emotions, tense relationships, fear or avoidance of conflict, feelings of regret, and feeling of anger.
This comparison is a sneakier tactic that your boyfriend wants you to change your body. However, he’s at the same time feeding off your jealousy to get you to do what he wants.
If it appears that your partner is using negative reinforcement to get you to satisfy his unsaid demand, you should definitely bring up the subject to let him know that you’re aware of what he is doing.
Again, note that this publication does not endorse this strategy or others mentioned but only draws your attention to them to help you identify the problem with your boyfriend. It’s possible that he cares about your health and how it may affect the romantic aspect of your relationship. He will likely support you without hurting your feelings.
7. Regular weight loss topics
If your boyfriend suddenly starts talking about weight loss, he wants you to work on your weight.
If he starts encouraging you to exercise at home or if he occasionally brings up health topics like the value of exercising for a healthy life, that’s a sign he thinks you’re fat—but that remains his opinion.
8. Sudden jokes about your weight
Sometimes he can also make amusing jokes about your weight. If he jokes that he cannot carry you due to your weight or instructs you not to sit on his lap, he’s signaling to you about his feeling towards your look.
9. He touches your belly/arm but says nothing
Your boyfriend will constantly feel your belly and arms without saying anything, even if you ask why he’s doing it. Thus, your boyfriend is simply being expressive by silently gauging your belly and arm.
Moreover, if you notice his eyes fixed on your belly or his hands on your arm frequently, you now know what he is up to.
10. Weight scale all of a sudden
If your boyfriend advises you to use the scale, he’s thinking you’re growing fat. He might start asking questions like “How much did you weigh today?” He’s indirectly asking if you don’t think you weigh enough to start eating healthy or engaging in exercises.
11. He says “you’re fat”
Sometimes he might be honest with you if the topic naturally arises. If this is the case, it helps if both of you understand yourselves.
If he can boldly tell you that you need to lose weight, then it’s either you decide you are okay the way you are or satisfy his opinion. Usually, it’s best to make your decision based on what you find more comfortable instead of what a man thinks about you.
It’s usually hurting to hear from your partner that you’re overweight—that can be embarrassing. You shouldn’t feel bad about your body. Also, try to understand your boyfriend, especially if his opinion about your appearance is coming place of love and you know he truly cares about your well-being.
My boyfriend wants me to lose weight: what to do
This is a sensitive and possibly challenging situation, and it is important to handle it carefully.
Firstly, it is very important to always note that your body is yours, therefore, you have the right to decide what makes you comfortable. Your boyfriend has no right to decide what you do with your own body or how you should look.
Nevertheless, it helps to discuss with him to know his reasons for asking you to lose weight. Is it from a health standpoint or for his personal preference? Understand his viewpoint to be able to deal with any underlying problems.
In the end, it’s important to always put your happiness and well-being first. Think about it if losing weight is something that you would need or feel comfortable doing. But if your partner is forcing you into a weight loss journey, then it is important that you defend your own interests and make the right decisions.
Keep in mind to always be honest and upfront with your partner and if need be, Seek assistance from friends and family.
If you want to lose weight, first decide whether you feel comfortable or not. You may as well start thinking about ending the relationship if you decide it isn’t worth it. Unfortunately, we can’t have things both ways.
If you feel you need to lose weight for yourself, consider the tips below:
a. Eat a healthy balanced diet
Keep your focus on whole, unprocessed foods such as vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins. Stay away from sugary drinks and snacks, and limit your intake of added sugars and saturated fats. Not all processed foods are unhealthy, however, many are high in calories, added sugar, fat, and sodium. Some studies also found that eating more processed foods could be linked to weight gain and decreased diet quality—the Healthline.
b. Get enough exercise
Target about 75 minutes of strenuous activity or at least 150 minutes of moderate activity per week. Additionally, consider dividing your exercise into shorter, more frequent daily bursts.
c. Ensure consistency
When losing weight, long-term lifestyle adjustments are needed rather than simple temporary diets. Instead of trying to adhere to a rigorous diet that is difficult to maintain, aim to make healthy decisions most of the time.
d. Stay hydrated
Drink enough water to stay hydrated and feel full. Water will also help to speed up your metabolism. One study by Vinu A. Vij and Anjali S. Joshi has observed that drinking 500 ml of water increased metabolic rate by 30% in both men and women.
You need sufficient sleep up to 7-9 hours every night in your weight loss journey.
f. Seek support
It helps to seek support from the right, loving friends, family, or medical professionals.
Is it okay for your boyfriend to ask you to lose weight?
It is not okay for your boyfriend to ask you to lose weight. Your body and weight are personal concerns that should not be influenced by other people, not even your partner. Moreover, your mental health and self-worth may be affected if your boyfriend is body shaming or pressuring you to meet specific weight norms. Regardless of your body appearance, it is important for you to feel confident and secure in yourself.
Additionally, losing weight shouldn’t be a must for a happy and fulfilling relationship. You need love and acceptance for who you are in any relationship. Unless you understand your boyfriend’s viewpoint, his request could be an indication of an unhealthy or even abusive relationship.
Will my boyfriend like me more if I lose weight?
Your boyfriend may get more attracted to you either personally or sexually if you lose weight. In contrast to cultural expectations, however, your partner might find the weight loss less attractive and can also respond with increasing jealousy if they think you will go elsewhere for someone “better” than themselves, according to WebMD.
Trying to change your body in an effort to win a boyfriend’s love is unfair to you. Relationships ought to be founded more on shared respect, trust, and sincere care than on outward appearance. Regardless of your body shape, if your boyfriend loves and values you greatly, he will accept you for who you are. If he doesn’t, think carefully about whether or not the relationship is healthy for you.
Ultimately, you are responsible for making decisions that concern your body and health. It is your right to decide if it’s important to lose a few pounds. Thus, it is not acceptable for anyone to coerce you to change the way you look.