Even though it may be unethical to plot someone out, this publication explains how to annoy your roommate into moving out. You cannot always be the ideal good man, especially if your roommate has a habit you dislike so much.
The problem is that you cannot just ask them to leave, it will not work. So, annoying them to move out could be the go-to solution.
We are not concerned about the reasons you want your roommate out. Besides, a medical doctor will not ask you what caused your sickness before curing it.
How to annoy your roommate into moving out
The suggestions here will either mildly or severely inconvenience/annoy your roommate. However, some of these suggestions may make you a complete a**hole without breaking the lease or committing a crime though.
Below are the ways to annoy your roommate into moving out:
Disturb their early morning sleep
Sleep is a necessity and can be relaxing, especially in the early morning. Take this sleep away from your roommate consistently to annoy them.
The first recommendation is to set your alarm clock with multiple alarms. Select 4 am and set the alarm to go off every 15 minutes.
Make sure you take a very long time to turn off or snooze the alarm.
If your roommate confronts you, give them a vague and annoying answer like “I’m preparing to run in a marathon, so the doctor advised me to have an interrupted sleep schedule”.
Be unclothed in the room
Your roommate may not be comfortable seeing you without your clothes on. Whenever you are in the room with them, go unclothed the whole time.
Make sure they do not take photos of you. If they ask why you move about or sleep naked, just reply, “Do you have a problem?” If they say, “Yes,” reply with, “OK.”
Play weird music
Music appeals to a lot of people, probably, including your roommate. However, some kinds of music may not appeal to them.
Perhaps, metal, rap, rock, or Bhajans may not be what they love to listen to. Just play the music that irritates them, and make sure to increase the volume in the morning. Be careful not to disturb neighbors. Here are really annoying music recommendations.
Use their stuff without permission
People hate it when others use their stuff without permission. This will certainly annoy your roommate to want to move out of the apartment.
Whenever they confront you, reply that anything that belongs to them in the room also belongs to you. Make sure to always keep yours hidden, especially those items belonging to you that they would want to use as a way to get back at you.
Misplace their belongings
Apart from just using their stuff without their permission, try to misplace them. You could give those items out and say that you cannot find where you left them.
The common items to misplace could be their books, hairbrush, and so on. When they question you, just say you replaced it. If they say they never forget where or when they place their stuff, tell them they are getting old.
If they accuse you of having a forgetful memory for admitting the misplacement, tell them you are getting old too.
Occupy the washroom strategically
When you figure out your roommate’s early morning schedule, hop in the washroom and take the time if you have nothing to do. Make the shower your new home but without leaving it running to avoid wasting water.
When they ask to use the washroom, ask for some more minutes. Stay longer than you asked until they get pissed off.
Scream on the phone
Make it a habit to scream on the phone in the room when making phone calls. You could even make voice records of you screaming, especially when they are reading in the room.
If your roommate cautions you to lower your voice, say, “Sorry, I can’t hear you.”
Invite people to your place regularly
Invite people, including friends to your place often. If you know that one person your roommate hates a lot, invite them over. Sit and gossip with them for hours, or learn new recipes together.
The point is to make your roommate’s enemies your friends to annoy them into moving out of the apartment.
Eat their food
When your roommate cooks or orders food, eat it in their absence. Eat anything they got from their home or stored.
Do not say anything when they return until they ask if you ate their food. Tell them you were hungry and could not stand the yummy look of their food. Add that you promised yourself just one bite but could not stop yourself from more. Do not say you are sorry about it—keep saying you were hungry.
Treat them with silence
Giving your roommate a silent treatment can force them to move out. When they enter the room, do not say “hi” or “hello”. Just turn your back and ignore them if they try to talk to you.
Do not also inform your roommate when you are going to do something. For example, giving things for laundry, buying groceries, or ordering an item.
Leave them hanging during a conversation
Another good tactic to annoy a roommate into moving out is to begin conversations and then completely ignore what your roommate says.
Look directly at them and get it across that you just heard and understood what they said. You may then respond or just keep mute.
Learn annoying musical instruments
Develop an interest in learning musical instruments, including trumpet, guitar, flute, or piano. Whenever your roommate returns, start playing to add to their already hectic day.
Practice daily but only when they return to annoy your roommate. When it becomes unbearable, they will reconsider sharing the room with you and plan to move out.
Pollute the room with noise
Make a lot of noise during bedtime. Consider dripping utensils, slamming doors, and searching the room for missing items. Keep asking your roommate if they have seen it until they get tired of you. The point is to frequently interrupt the roommate with silly questions to annoy them.
Have in mind that your roommate will tell others about your annoying attitudes. Meanwhile, annoying them may not even be worth it.
If they do something you do not like, talk to them about it. If they decide not to stop, you can adopt a legal approach to evict them.