This publication explains how to vandalize a car and get away with it. If you asked the average person to advise you, they would say, “Don’t do it.” This article does not also encourage any act of vandalism to mess with someone’s car legally but reveals possible ways to get it done and not get caught. Some of them are evil things to do to someones car that should not be encouraged.
You want to be sure you have good reasons to vandalize the vehicle. Understand also that car vandalism is a crime. Lastly, get your timing right. This act of revenge and vandalism is best done in the dark or at night.
How to vandalize a car and get away with it
This section suggests the ways you can vandalize a vehicle and get away with it. Make sure to avoid the dashcam.
Purchase bologna and apply it all over the car. Bologna will eat the car paint once the sun gets to it, so the car owner will need a new paint job.
Even without the sun, when bologna is left exposed for a long time, the preservatives will dissolve the paint, causing a polka dot-covered car.
You could simply smash the vehicle as much as you can but not enough to have it totaled.
Read also: reasons insurance may take long to fix a car
Rip off the windshield wipers, and side mirrors, and smash the headlights and taillights. These components are all pretty expensive to replace.
Smash the windows after you have attacked other parts of the vehicle. A big rock or brick will easily smash the windows. Do not also abandon the tool you use to vandalize the car to protect your identity from a possible fingerprint check through forensics.
Destroy or remove the license plate
Tear out the license plate. You need additional force to tear it quickly. Unscrewing the plates will take longer.
Target the rear license plate, it is more important than the front. Some states do not even mandate using a front license plate.
The process of replacing a stolen license plate takes days and your victim gets to pay for the replacement.
Apply rubber cement glue to the keyholes
You could always put rubber cement, a drying adhesive, in the keyholes. Rubber cement is made from elastic polymers that are mixed in a solvent such as acetone, hexane, heptane, or toluene, keeping them fluid enough for use.
When the solvents in the rubber cement quickly evaporate, the rubber solidifies and forms a strong yet flexible bond that prevents the car owner from inserting the car key.
Remove the catalytic converter
You could have the catalytic converter stolen within seconds. Cat converters are worth hundreds of dollars to a scrap yard for the precious metals they contain. The owner of the car may not even know that the catalytic converter has been removed, except they are attentive to the sound of the car.
Here is a video about removing a catalytic converter in 30 seconds:
Keying is a common way to vandalize someone’s car, and perhaps, the fastest way to vandalize a car.
You can key a car at any time and anywhere without anyone even noticing and get away with it.
Merely running a key along the side of a vehicle can cause massive damage. A deeper scratch requires thorough repair at an auto body shop to protect the body of the car.
Slashing the tires of a car does not only cost money but also stops the car owner from driving without replacing them. If you slash more than one tire, the spare in the trunk is not enough for the owner.
A big gash on the tires renders it immediately flat and is useless to drive on. This can happen pretty fast with a knife.
Put a tampon in the gas tank
A tampon in the gas tank of the person’s car will absorb quite an amount of fuel. When it expands in size, it can clog the fuel lines, causing the engine to starve of fuel and stall.
Tampons absorb lots of liquid, so the same happens to fuel, even with a single tampon in it.
A pebble in the tire nozzle
You can put a pebble in the tire nozzle to drain the air out. If the owner of the car continues to drive on, the rims and tires will get wrecked.
Evil things to do to someones car
The tips may be evil but are only answers to the question you asked. If you do anything evil to someone else’s car, you will almost certainly be recorded, reported, arrested, and charged with vandalism.
1. Dog poop under door handles
Mess with someone’s car legally by applying some dog poop under each of their door handles.
2. Key the car
3. McDonald’s sausage McMuffin
Visit McDonald’s now. Buy the sausage McMuffin, peel the “sausage” sticker off carefully and attach it to their car bumper.
4. Break the bumper
It will be difficult to remove the bumper altogether, so just break it. The bumpers on the majority of modern cars are secured by tiny pop tabs. Some cars even have bumpers glued on with a ton of insulation in between. On some vehicles, you need to remove the wheels before you can even get the bumper off.
5. Fish oil
Pour fish oil through the vents of the windows. That foul odor may never leave. If you pour the fish oil into the gutters, that will worsen the car smell.
6. Spray foam insulation
Spray foam insulation into the radiator, covering or filling it, through the front grill or bumper. Trying to get rid of that would be a nightmare for the owner.
7. Bust a mirror
Simply smash a mirror or both. It’s quick, effective, and simple to cover up and will look like an accident. If you are caught, just apologize and say that your foot slipped, so you unintentionally hit the side-view mirror.
8. Glue the caps covering the tire valve
Simply secure the caps that cover the area of the tire where the air is inflated (the valve) with glue. Alternatively, you can stick a BB (ball bearings) inside the cap and screw it down. The BB pushes the valve core and creates a slow leak that disappears whenever it is checked. Ball bearings are tiny copper, steel, or aluminum balls that are shot out of toy guns and other similar devices.
9. Puncture the tire with a nail
Grab a nail, and make a little puncture on any of the tires. Make sure to put the nail on the side tire. The owner won’t notice it immediately because it will be so minor, but they will eventually after driving with a flat tire. They’ll probably take the time to visit a tire shop to have it fixed, thinking the tire just picked the nail.
Note that small punctures can be repaired, but only on the end (where the tread is). They will have to replace the perfectly good tire with a new one since the side punctures are not reliable when repaired.
Also, think about the person having a flat tire and crashing. If you get caught, you might face harsh consequences depending on the damage caused during the crash.
10. Fill the gas tank with water or bleach
Add water or bleach to the fuel tank. The only sign the owner will get is a flooded gas tank, which can damage the car. You can add bleach. Bleach will cause corrosion within the cylinder in the gasoline tank.
11. Squirt brake fluid on the paint
Squirt brake fluid with a syringe on the paint as you walk past the car. Discard the syringe once done or keep going with it.
12. Leave a false note on the car
I had this coworker who was an elderly retired police officer who was very protective of his car. On April 1st, I wrote my douchebag friend’s number on a note left on the elder’s car that read, “Hey, sorry about the dent. Phone me so we can exchange insurance details.” I sat back and watched the mayhem—it was evil.
13. Add aerosol to the exhaust pipe nozzle
If you really want to be evil, get an aerosol can of expanding foam (used by builders to fill gaps), add a 2-foot plastic tube to the nozzle, and poke it as far as you can up the car’s exhaust pipe. Spray until the can is empty. The car won’t start, and the repair shop will spend hours trying to figure out why without thinking about looking into the exhaust.
14. Add mercury and glass particles into the gas tank
Mercury reacts with aluminum and forms aluminum amalgam. Every aluminum component, from the gas tank to the engine block, will rust. However, avoid aluminum oxide, which is the rust that protects the aluminum from rusting. Glass is good at this, so glass dust in the gas tank will scratch the surface of every moving part it comes into contact with. The mercury will react and rot the engine from the inside out. The dust, however, will not scratch anything unless it is moved across a surface. Mercury sitting in the tank will have no effect. However, when the engine is started, a small amount of mercury and glass is spread throughout the engine, and when the engine is turned off, the small amount of mercury left in the system begins to work on those scratches.
15. Loosen the valve cores with a removal tool
Loosen the valve cores lightly with a $3 valve core removal tool. The valve core will eventually become completely loose, causing a flat tire. Note that negligence and consequences from the car owner can result in more expensive damages.
16. Break the window
You could vandalize the window but you want to keep it quiet with a tool like auto center punch. Although this tool is called “auto center”, it’s best used on the edge of the glass.
Penalties for car vandalism
If you are caught vandalizing someone’s car, you are in for a mess, especially if the car owner has proof you are the vandal.
The penalties also depend on your state. In some states, it is categorized as a misdemeanor or a felony. Below are common penalties for car vandalism:
- Jail term. You can be jailed from a few days to several years, depending on the amount of damage done. The penalty could also increase if you have a previous criminal record.
- Fines. Depending on your state and damage done, you could be fined from a few hundred dollars to thousands. Vandal fines are typically paid directly to the court and not the owner of the car.
- Restitution. You may be mandated to pay a certain amount of money to the owner of the vandalized car. This amount is different from the fine you are ordered to pay by the court. The amount is typically enough to cover the vehicle damages.
- Community service. You can be ordered to perform community service, serve several hours in a volunteer organization, or do other community services as a condition of your probation. Your jail sentence and original fines can be reinforced if you fail to perform community service.
- Probation. You can be sentenced to probation in place of or in addition to the jail sentence. Violating the rules or conditions within the probation may have you serving the original jail sentence.
Think deeply before your move to vandalize another person’s car. Vehicle vandalism is as bad as it gets and the owner would literally want you near death.
If you get caught, the person may react aggressively or so what anyone would do if their car got vandalized. There are more decent ways to settle, so have a second thoughts before you do evil to another person’s car.