I understand you intend to know how to convince your wife to lose weight, and I am willing to share my experience with you. The truth is that she also dislikes her looks. It makes her feel insecure, especially when you have other women around. But if you are her size in weight, it’s tougher to get her to work out.
I married my pretty wife in the 2010s; although she was not the sleek-bodied kind of lady, she was not obese either. Sometime after, she was weighing up, and I thought she would start dieting, but I was wrong.
When I first informed her of losing weight, she got upset; I accepted my mistake of taking the wrong approach. She started feeling uncomfortable and inferior around me; I felt guilty. You would wonder whether I love her for physical attraction or true love.
Well, physical attraction fades gradually. Wrinkles and grey hair take over, and her booby would become saggy. If she is overweight, the shape of her body might persuade you to get out of the marriage, which should not be the case.
Fortunately, good dieting and exercise can keep your wife attractive to you.
But the problem is how you can convince your wife to lose weight, right? Let’s fix the problem.
Is it OK to tell your wife to lose weight?
Yes, it is okay to tell your wife to lose, but it depends on how you pass the message. If you convince your wife to lose weight indirectly by pointing out the benefits of fitness and also partaking in it, it is okay.
Meanwhile, using harsh words to express yourself is a ‘No.’ Following a Psychology Today publication, hurtful words can damage your intimacy with your wife.
Endeavor not to use harsh words such as “I will love you even more if you lose weight.” It means you never loved her, but her looks as though she will remain beautiful forever.
How to convince your wife to lose weight
So, after my wife’s outrage, I had to figure out a new approach to calm her nerves and convince her to lose weight. How did I convince her?
Below are the steps to convince your wife to lose weight:
1. Open up about your concerns
If you deem it necessary, don’t hesitate to be expressive about about her health. You are more likely to know the best way to pass your message to your wife as the husband. Usually, you have to talk and express your concerns in a gentle manner.
Share how you feel with her and she might be receptive. Just say to your wife:
You know I love you so much but it makes me worried seeing you struggle with your weight. Do you mind if we talk about it?
You can employ passive measures if you think your wife will not receive your message about weight in the gentle manner you want her to. Some of the passive ways to pass your message about weight to your wife are:
- inform your wife that you’re starting a weight loss journey and will like her to help you;
- change your meal habit for healthier options; and
- switch from food-centered activities to physical alternatives.
2. Highlight the health concerns
The most important thing is that her health may be in danger. The risk of contracting an infection increases and the recovery rate becomes slower.
While sleeping, the additional pounds she weighs makes breathing difficult, she snores harder and loses flexibility. At some point, she is unable to stand erect easily.
3. Do not compare her
While convincing your wife to lose weight, do not compare her with her former self or another lady. It kills her mojo, and she just feels it is the end between you and herself.
The goal is not to send your wife into depression but to convince her to enhance her beauty and become flexible.
PsychAlive mentions that comparing your spouse to someone you loved sets unrealistic expectations. It could also be an end to your happy relationship.
4. Mind your words
Yes, you have your wife’s best interest in mind, but your kind of language can affect the relationship negatively instead of encouraging her to lose weight.
Researches suggest that on average, women express their emotions more frequently than men.
When you say demeaning things to your wife, she cries for a longer interval, in your absence mostly, and lots of things go through her head at the time. She begins to reflect on your words and changes her perception of you.
Even after she starts dieting, just to please your demand, she feels you never loved her.
Below are some of the phrases to avoid while convincing your wife to lose weight:
“You’re becoming overweight.”
“Are you eating more of that?”
“Shouldn’t you be dieting?”
“I will love you more when you lose weight.”
“You aren’t beautiful looking like this!”
Think of it, would you feel good if the case was the reverse and she said the stuff above to you?
5. Identify what might be encouraging her weight
Look out for emotional problems your wife may face that affect her weight. The problem may not diet or exercise but depression or even stress. Depression can lead to negative patterns such as:
- Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
- Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
- Irritability
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
- Decreased energy or fatigue
- Difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
- Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions, as well as changes in appetite or weight are also signs of depression in women, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
On the other hand, stress in women include: Physical. Headaches, difficulty sleeping, tiredness, pain (most commonly in the back and neck), overeating/under eating, skin problems, drug and alcohol misuse, lack of energy, upset stomach, less interest in sex/other things you used to enjoy—Cleveland Clinic.
Depression and stress could be caused by loss of a loved one, new role at work, and the arrival of a newborn. Talk to your wife to find out whether she feels the effect or not. If she admits feeling the effect, recommend exercise to help her body release endorphins to boost her mood and get rid of the symptoms of depression and stress.
6. Discuss simple dieting with her
Dieting means lots of food limitations, and she would be saying goodbye to most of her favorite meals.
It is not such an easy decision to make, so do not expect her to feel comfortable first. Do not rule out the possibility that she might give up along the line. Well, my wife did give up along the line, but she resumed willingly and felt comfortable after the positive changes she witnessed during the first attempt.
Contact a dietitian and request a simple dieting plan your wife could begin with. She can switch to the standard dieting plan eventually to lose more weight.
7. Diet with your wife
Consider dieting with your wife if you have an active metabolism or professional life to help encourage her weight loss journey. You don’t want her to see you eat her favorite foods while her diet is restricted.
Make sure to balance your diet. Loading your plates with food will more likely create a nutritional imbalance which is not healthy. Consider different foods varieties that contain different vitamins and other nutrients. Endeavor to introduce different food groups including grains, proteins, fruits, vegetables, and diary into your meal plan. You also need some healthy fats such as omega 3 fatty acids.
Nevertheless, avoid excessive salt, fat, or sugar and empty calories such as sweetened beverages, pizza, and ice cream and invest in fruits and vegetables.
8. Have a meal plan
An effective meal plan will help your wife’s weight loss journey by saving time, money, and stress, as well as preventing you from indulging in less healthy options. If your eating log reveals that you are missing specific food group, make sure to tailor your meal plan to enhance your diet.
9. Measure your habit
Tracking your food consumption will help you to enhance your eating habits. You may both feel somewhat oppressed when you tally up the calorie number consumed daily. However, calorie and portion control are important in your weight loss journey.
Fad diets may focus on specific food and nutrition sources but experts have stressed how consuming excessive calories can lead to weight gain. Some fad diets involve eliminating foods that contain necessary nutrients that your body needs to maintain good health.
Just make sure to have an eating log on your smartphone or a memopad to help track your diet. List your meal plan and check the caloric cost of the items and identify those kinds of food that the trouble spots of your calories.
10. Compliment her
Your wife welcomes compliments, it means she gets the needed attention, and feel loved.
Do not flatter, but be sincere about how much you adore and value your woman as a wife. Smile, tickle, and poke her. Just love her.
The next moment, she would be asking, “So, when do I start?”
Do not say, “Now!” Instead, say, “Any time you feel comfortable.”
How Do I Motivate My Wife to Lose Weight?
To convince your wife to lose weight is one thing while motivating her to keep up is another.
Below are the ways to motivate your wife to lose weight:
See the Dietitian
Contact a dietitian together and find out the benefits of dieting and weight loss to motivate your wife to lose weight. The dietitian will also suggest a meal plan that is effective for other dieters.
If your wife started dieting already, request the dietitian’s advice regarding what you can do to enhance the weight loss and make your wife comfortable.
Diet with Her
You want to motivate your wife to lose weight, right? Then you have to diet with her. When she sees your diet, whether you are muscular or not, it motivates her to keep it up.
The best part is if you begin dieting with her and she sees you chow down on your favorite meals, she would want to do the same to get out of self resentment.
Additionally, when your wife prepares her diet meals, partake in the meals to encourage her to diet for weight loss.
Compliment Her Attempts
Regardless of how poorly she diets or exercises, compliment her and disclose how effective the diets work on her weight. Be wowed whenever she skips fatty foods and request how you may be of help to her.
She might say she needs no help, but press on to show her that you care.
Balance the Diet
When you dish enough food as you can consume, it might not be balanced nutritionally, which means it is unhealthy. Moreover, the flavor becomes a reminder that by dieting, your wife is missing out on great meals, which does not motivate her to lose weight.
She needs to diet with a variety of foods with different nutritional benefits.
Assist your wife to include all food classes such as vegetables, grains, dairy, protein, and fruits. You should also include fats such as omega-3 fatty acids and other recommendations from a health professional.
She must avoid excessive fat, sugar, and salt and skip empty calories or calories with ice cream and sweets.
Simplify the Meal Plan
A meal plan saves cost, money, and energy, and you can select healthy options for her. In the absence of simple meal plans, she might eat unnecessary foods, and the meal expenses increase drastically.
Moreover, an inconvenient meal plan gives her the impression that she may be unable to keep up with dieting.
Contact the dietitian to plan a meal that accommodates her favorite foods and diversify the food collections to encourage her to lose weight. If a particular diet plan is not effective, try out a new plan until you discover what makes her comfortable.
Exercise Together
According to the Mayo Clinic, you should aim for about 30 minutes of moderate physical activity daily to enhance weight loss. You may exercise for a more extended period depending on the result you expect.
Join your wife during the few minutes of exercise to encourage her. It is also good for your health, and it indicates how supportive you can be to her.
Encourage her to indulge in less hectic activities like walking a dog, learning to sneak up on a cat, cycling, etc. Support your wife by encouraging her throughout the routine and take part in her healthy options.
Joining the gym immediately may not be feasible, especially if she hates the idea. The best thing is for her to begin with small, routine activities such as a walk in the morning or leisure sport such as tennis, glass collecting, dancing, and bird watching.
Spend a significant part of your weekends on physical activities such as going to the park—take your Frisbee or your pet along.
Try planning regular activities to give her a sense of safety and pleasure. On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact—James Clear. So, give her to adapt. You can decide with your wife to have three exercise oriented activities on weekends.
Sign Up for a Gym Membership Nearby
If she responds well to dieting, introduce the idea of getting a gym membership.
She will have access to tons of fitness resources, and the trainers can help her to develop an effective exercise plan that encourages the weight loss expedition and keep her motivated.
Final Thoughts
It is typical and okay to attempt to convince your wife to get rid of her weight.
First, avoid the approach that your wife is the problem, but accept that it is with you.
Now, ask yourself, “Do I exercise often?”, “Am I mindful of the food I consume?”, “Am I fit enough to tell her to lose her weight?”, “What examples have I put up that I expect her to emulate?”
If your response is positive, it will not take much persuasion to convince your wife to plan to become fit.
