You want to get your parents to knock on your door before entering as they do forget that their once small babies are maturing into adults. Most of the time, the awkward moment of engaging them about your feeling is all it takes. Just be honest. Also, understand that your parents are checking on you to be sure you’re not doing something they do not approve of, especially if you’re a young teen or adolescent approaching the age when you don’t want to tell them everything. They might be concerned about why you suddenly want that privacy and would think that you are up to something, such as being in a relationship, not doing your homework, visiting adult sites, or hanging out with someone they may not like.
How to get your parents to knock on your door
Their overprotective attitude is annoying, but they might not be sure if it’s just space you need for yourself or space to hide things from them. Since you think it’s worth it to have your parents knock on your door before entering, do the following:
1. Talk to them about it
Explain to your parents that you are older and would really like them to knock before entering. Request that they respect your space and privacy, just as much as you respect theirs. Do this without pleading, whining, agitating, or acting victimized. Throughout the conversation, stay firm, go straight to the point, and be respectful.
You can say:
I don’t feel like I have any personal space or privacy. Can we discuss this? It annoys me.
You could even implement a knocking policy. Begin the conversation by saying something like:
I would like to institute a new room rule of knocking before entering. Please, let’s have a meeting to discuss this.
You could also say:
I knock on your door to respect your privacy, so I’d like you to do the same for me.
Read also: Children do lie and get away with it
2. Leave a note on your door
Hang a note on your door saying “knock” to remind your parents as they will be inclined to forget when next they are coming. Your door sign can be a simple sheet of paper with a legible and brief message that reads “Please knock before entering.” If necessary, you can include “Please don’t enter without my permission.”
Alternatively, you can hang a dry-erase message board on your door, which you can occasionally update the message and direct it to a particular parent (mom or dad).
3. Try diplomacy
When your parents keep barging in on you, it’s time to express your feelings again, this time with some authority. Inform them that you would appreciate it if they would always knock before entering your room. Give them candy whenever they comply to reward their efforts.
You also want to try modeling the mature behavior you want to see in them by knocking or announcing your entry into their private spaces. Make sure to express your desires calmly and persistently while considering yourself a diplomat negotiating a deal.
Remember that parents can be stubborn. While it is not your responsibility to teach them such common courtesy, it is a valuable life skill to practice with them.
4. Be slightly confrontational
If your politeness does not work after talking to your parents about respecting your privacy, you may have to be a bit outspoken. Besides, “politeness isn’t always the best path,” Shelby Berzley, a HuffPost contributor.
Of course, you don’t have to be violent or mean towards your parents. It may also be acceptable to raise your voice to express yourself, just a bit of a sudden burst (depending on your kind of parents though because it doesn’t end well with toxic parents). Remember, these are your parents, so in the heat of the moment, you don’t want to say things you’ll regret later.
Just be honest about why you’re upset to make them feel guilty. Explain to dad or mom that you both talked about it but that it hurts your feelings why they won’t listen to you.
5. Do your chores
When you take care of your chores, your parents may not have any reason to enter your room in the first place. Keep your room tidy, make your bed every morning, pick up your clothes, and do your laundry. Make sure to return any dirty dishes to the kitchen without being asked.
Remind your parents that you’ve completed the chores in your room so they don’t have to inspect it (if they operate that way).
6. Block the door
If they keep ignoring your request, place something heavy next to your door on the inside. When they come barging into it, explain how you have asked nicely to knock before entering. Explain again how you are older now and would do with a little bit of privacy.
7. Get an alarm system
Get one of those alarms you can place 20 or 30 feet away to sound when anything passes by. It sends a beeping sound to a hand-held speaker next to you, informing you about your parents.
8. Don’t keep things they need in your room
Do not, for instance, keep the household’s only game console or tablet in your room to avoid your parents coming in. Keep the items everyone uses in a common room of the house, such as the living room, or basement.
Should parents knock on their child’s door?
Today’s children are more watched over than in the past, with parents feeling the need to constantly monitor them and their use of technology. However, parents should knock on the child’s door before entering. Parents shouldn’t just barge in as it invades the child’s privacy and may hurt the child-parent relationship.
Knocking on the door shows respect toward the children. Moreover, privacy aids in the development of your sense of self, creativity, and ways of thinking.
Ultimately, your parents knocking on your door is a sign of respect for your privacy and independence and will help you have a sense of ownership over your personal space. Remember to show signs of maturity and ensure open communication with your parents to help them trust you can do with some privacy.
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