“Aargh! Parents want me to go somewhere with them again!” Hold it. You don’t have to rage anymore because this article exposes how to get out of going somewhere with your parents. You do know they’d feel bad if you refuse to follow them. That’s because parents love to have things their way. When you refuse to go somewhere with your parents, they will make you feel guilty. They want to drag you along in their plans, even if they’re meeting with people their age. And when you object, you get the response “It’s a family thing. We just want you to meet people”. Sometimes it’s not, sometimes it is.
Others your age may be living their life, or perhaps, just home doing their thing without their parents bothering them. But you don’t want to mention that to your parents because they can show you 50 persons for every one person you mention that does not go everywhere with their parents.
How to get out of going somewhere with your parents
Many people believe that refusing to go hang out with your parents “should never be an option”. We reviewed Quora users’ comments and found that 85% of the users are against refusing to hang out somewhere with your parents. 70% think it’s better to “be honest” to your parents about not going out with them.
Back to our subject, how do you get out of going somewhere with your parents?
Determine the Importance of Where They Want You to Go with them
Your parents won’t drag you wherever they would be going without informing you. Depending on the importance, they may inform you earlier or a few hours to the time.
Some parents would have asked whether you’d be going somewhere, and you said “no”, meaning you are free. Congrats to dad or mom, they succeeded in getting the truth from you.
If you demand to know why they asked, they won’t say until it’s time to go out. When you then ask, “you want me to follow you?” Their response would be, “Yes. You said you have nothing to do or going nowhere.” Obviously, they win because they extracted information already to use against your potential excuses.
Nonetheless, you can say no to your parent’s invitation to go out together. You have to weigh the importance of the hangout. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What is the purpose of the hangout?
- Who would your parents or guardian be meeting? Their age mates? Your relatives? Colleagues at work?
- Does the hangout necessarily need you?
- How will your parents feel if you say no?
- Can you get them to let go?
- Did they hint about it earlier? If they didn’t, you can leverage it to say you should have been informed earlier.
Unfortunately, if you mentioned initially that you won’t be going anywhere or doing anything, it reduces your chance of getting out of going out with them.
Figure Out What You’ll Gain from It
Most of the time, the hangouts your parents ask you to accompany them are “all about them”. If you stand to get nothing from going out with your parents, you have a point.
Suppose your parents have a meeting with their colleagues or age mates. Honestly, your presence does not count, and your parents are aware. They may ask you to drive, but is it all about driving? No, they just want you around, but it does not end with them wanting you around.
Your parents want you around for pride. Unless you’re also a parent, you may not understand the honor your parents feel showing you off to friends, especially if you’re a college grad or undergrad. They would rather introduce you to everyone instead of considering how you feel around that group of persons because you’re their pride.
If your parents would be meeting elderly relatives, they want you to unite with your extended family. It may not be the best feeling, especially if there would be no cousin, niece, or nephew within your age bracket. Their kind of conversation may not appeal to you, and you’d feel ‘alone’ in their midst.
There could be other scenarios. The idea is to identify how the invitation affects you. If you can’t take out positives, then you have a point to include in your honest excuses to get out of the hangout.
Sort the Things You’d Like to Do
If you say to your parents, “I won’t be going there with you,” they will ask, “Why?” They expect a tangible response, especially if you mentioned to them initially that it’s your free time.
If you stay with your parents as a teen or an adult, think of what you could do at home. Do you have a side job? If yes, explain to your parents that you will be searching for clients today (if you have no client for the day). If you already have a client, explain that you need to inspect and prepare for the job. What if you have no job? Consider options such as meeting a friend or a next-door neighbor.
If you have a separate apartment, that makes it even easier to get out of going somewhere with your parents. There could be something worth doing around you, or a friend called earlier to inform you that they’re coming over. Just think, it’s as simple as that.
Make and Weigh an Honest Excuse
After sorting what you can possibly do to avoid following your parents somewhere, come up with an excuse. Center your excuse on the thing(s) you could if you don’t go out with your parents.
Weigh your excuse. Is it a believable excuse? Will your parents frown at it? If the excuse is flimsy, your parents or guardian will know, especially if you live with them. When weighing your excuse:
- Consider how long it will take to complete it. For example, if your excuse is to take something to a friend, it’s short-timed because some parents will wait for you to return or offer to give you a lift. You need an excuse that is long-timed, or perhaps, the timing can’t be estimated. For example, if you have a reasonable appointment with friends, your parents can’t estimate how long it’ll take. Some parents might provide you with excuses to avoid the meeting and go out with them, though.
- You don’t need a relatable excuse. If your excuse is relatable, it can’t help you out of going somewhere with your parents. For instance, if your excuse is to clean the house, your parents might adjust the outing until the time you’re done because they know the capacity of the room(s) and how long it takes to clean up. You want an excuse they can’t relate to or have a clue about. For instance, saying that you must read for a test leaves them with no clue if you’re a high school or college student. As a grad, you can say that you participated in a random webinar, and would be having an online test today.
- You need an excuse with evidence. Do you have evidence to back up your excuse? If you do not back your excuse, your parents know you are dishonest. Suppose your excuse is a webinar, you need a link to the online event as evidence. Even if you’re not interested in the event, you could look online for available webinars on relevant fields. It can be on YouTube or Facebook Live. When you find an active webinar, that makes your evidence.
After weighing your excuse, it’s time to inform your parents.
Informing Your Parents
Before you tell an excuse to get out of going somewhere with your parents, ensure that your storyline is appealing and believable. You must assume a mood that matches your excuse, whether you’re informing them in person or through phone calls.
As mentioned earlier, your excuse must be close to honest if not honest because your parents are smarter than you think. They have been children in their lifetime and did things you wouldn’t imagine.
Your parents may feel bad that you’re not going with them, especially if they had promised those age mates to expect you. So, whatever excuse you tell them is the excuse they will share with the people expecting your presence – relatives, colleagues, their friends, or business partners.
Talk About a Next Time
You know you just broke momma and papa’s feeble hearts. They may not mention to you that they’re heartbroken, but those lovely parents of yours are disappointed. No worries, though. You can make them feel better somehow. Tell your parents there’s the next time.
Do not say it like you’d follow them next time, but just to calm them for the moment. If you’re with them in person, give them a warm hug. If you’re having a phone conversation – audio or video, tell them you love them.
It’s harder to communicate your feelings if you’re writing your parents a letter to get out of going somewhere with them. Nonetheless, you can use words/phrases like ‘love’, ‘wish’, ‘care’, ‘your child’, and ‘would’ve loved to’.
Except you will be honestly “busy”, do not use “I’m busy” or “would be busy” in your excuse(s). By the way, what are some excuses to avoid going somewhere with your parents? The section below covers this aspect. Meanwhile, if they refuse you, you can make them feel bad about it.
Excuses Not to Go Somewhere with Parents
Let’s divide the excuses into two – living with your parents and living away from parents.
Excuses to not to go somewhere with parents if living with them:
“I will be attending a one-time webinar today. I do not know how long it’ll last.”
“My test comes up soon, and I must prepare.”
“Mom/dad, I had an appointment with a [friend, colleague, etc.], and they would be expecting me.”
“I needed to meet my professor.”
“I don’t feel too good. I need to rest.”
“Oh! You should have informed me earlier.”
“Let’s make it another time [dad/mom], so I’ll be strong for tomorrow.”
“I don’t have a really good day today, and I feel I should just relax the whole day.”
Excuses to not to go somewhere with parents if you don’t live with parents:
“My pet is sick, mom.”
“My vehicle needs repairs.”
“I have an urgent meeting with co-workers.”
“Diarrhoea won’t let me, dad. Let’s make it another day.”
“Hi, Dad, I won’t make it today. I went to the nearby town to get a package.”
You just have to be creative, genuine, and honest. The most important thing is that your excuse must come from the current events around you, i.e., anything you can use to justify not going out with your parents. Be assertive when making your excuse and do not be plain with your parents like saying “I don’t want to go”.
Sample Letter to Parents Not to Follow them Somewhere
If you must write your parents – text message or a paper-written letter, you may follow the example format below:
Hi lovely [mom/dad],
I can’t make it out with you today. I have considered [enter your excuse].
Don’t worry, there’s always the next time. Have a great time out [mom/dad], and don’t look for any trouble this week (*winks*).
I love you
The letter or text message above is brief and straight to the point. Once you include your excuse, you’re good to go. Your parents may then call or you message them not to call (if you don’t live with them). If you want to do it the hard way, do not answer their phone calls. Refer to our article on the top believable excuses for not answering a phone call.
If you live under your parent’s roof, not going somewhere with them because you don’t want to might be tougher luck. The idea is that you must never say, “I don’t want to.” Parents love things their way, and when you refuse them that pride, they can be quite annoying, despite how wrong they may be.
There’s something most children miss out, and that you could be missing out, though. Recall that while growing up, you needed all your parent’s attention, even though they had many things to do. But as you age, your parents suddenly realize that you wouldn’t be with them forever. The parent-child attention dynamic begins to shift as parents want more time with you than ever. Apparently, your parents want your attention, but you have other things to do, or do not fancy an outing with them, especially if you’re been going places with them often.
What’s your take on this one? To follow or not to follow? That’s the question!