It’s okay if you have good reasons to want to fake being sick for school. Besides, your parents won’t just let you play hooky, so you have to fake it to convince them.
Generally, you need to begin your fake sickness a day before school and keep it up during the day. Even if your parents force you to attend classes, you could still fake it for the school nurse and teacher to let you go home.
How to fake being sick for school
This guide covers all you need to know, but make sure to put up a good performance on your end. Fake sickness for school by doing the following:
1. Fake being sick a day before
Start showing symptoms the night before class. Inform your parents that you don’t feel well and may not go to school the next day. It is important to give your parents short notice because sickness tends to go away after some time. So, tell them in the late evening, around 7:00 pm to give them too little time to think you faked it.
Read also: tips to shut that friend up
If you have been recently ill with a bug or virus, you need to put up a similar performance to make it seem real. Or try to replicate the symptoms of someone you recently met who had a cold or some other illness.
To fake cold or fever, apply a bright pink blush or cheek stain on your nose and cheeks to give you a flushed look. Make sure to behave a little clumsily to make it believable.
2. Cut off your regular activities
If your parents know you to do certain things at home, cut them off. Sacrificing that thing will make them take you seriously, believing that you’re really sick for school.
Also, when you’re served, make sure to only eat half of it at dinnertime. Tell your parents that your stomach hurts badly. However, you need to hide snacks in your room when missing a meal to get your parents to think you’re really sick.
If you planned to meet your friends, consider canceling the plans of going out with them with excuses. Request to be excused from family time and avoid your favorite TV shows.
Don’t complete your homework. If you have any to do, complete only half of it. Once you start doing the homework, put your head down for your parents to see how your illness interferes with your work. Doing half of your homework makes it seem like you intend to go to school, though you don’t. Since you don’t complete the homework, you have another excuse to get out of going to or leaving school early the next day.
Try not to brush your teeth. Your parents will remind you if they notice, and will wonder what’s wrong. Just tell them that you’re not feeling well.
3. Go to bed early and exaggerate symptoms
If you usually stay up later than allowed, go to bed early this time. Don’t say anything other than “I’m not feeling well and need to lie down” if you’re asked what is wrong. You can try attracting your parents’ attention by walking by them out of the room and heading for bed.
However, if you feel slightly sick but mild, exaggerate the symptoms. For instance, if you feel nausea, make it look like you’re about to throw up. Appear cranky, but don’t over-exaggerate it.
When it’s around 1:00 am in the night, wake up your parents and tell them you’re not feeling well. If you pretend to have stomach illness, leave signs of fake vomit in the toilet and tell them you just threw up.
You need to force tears to look really sick for school. Think of a sad event that made you cry. To get watery eyes, pull at the bottom of your eyelids until it hurts. Blink harder till you get watery eyes.
If you fake sore throat or flu symptoms, cough or clear your throat loudly in your room to their hearing. Make sure to rub your face to look red right before they come in to check if you’re ill.
4. Exaggerate sickness in the morning
Try to wake up before your parents and fake vomit in the toilet. Pretend to throw upset loudly to wake them up or go to their room and say you just vomited and flushed.
Don’t get dressed for school. Just pretend it’s difficult to do. You could dress slowly, skip your shirt button and comb your hair roughly and improperly. Don’t tie your shoelaces too.
Fake droopy eyes and think of something sad to keep it droopy. Rub your eyes for a slightly bloodshot face.
Make fake bags under your eyes using light lavender or blueish eyeshadow and fade the color into a more natural tint by mixing some water. Make it slightly noticeable. You could also rub some vaseline under your eyes or add pale makeup to fake being ill for school.
Show a lack of appetite when it’s time for breakfast. Pick at your meal to make your parents concerned, especially if it is your favorite breakfast. You’ll get hungry later, so sneak an extra snack for yourself.
5. Pretend you want to be in school
You need to show some willingness to be in school. When you’re asked to stay at home, stage a little protest—don’t shrug and agree immediately to make it believable.
You could say:
But I’ll have work to make up.
Just don’t overdo the act. If your parents are at home, pretend to sleep. If they are at work, they may call to check in on you. If your parents call from work, allow the phone to ring 3 times before answering it to seem like you’re too tired to answer.
If you think your parents want to have you see a doctor, start showing signs of improvement—a doctor can tell if you are sick or may prescribe drugs, which you don’t need.
Don’t sneak out of the house or play games. If you play internet games, make sure to clear your internet and browser search history. Don’t save bookmarks. If you download items on your computer, keep them in a hidden folder.
6. Fool your teacher and nurse
If you had to be in school somehow, get permission from your teacher to see the nurse. A nurse is better at telling when a student fakes sick for school, so you need to double up your performance.
After about 2-3 hours of school hours, take permission from the teacher to go to the bathroom. Stay a little longer and return to class. Tell your teacher you threw up and need to go to the nurse.
Start by making a simple request to the nurse. You can ask the nurse to allow you to lie down instead of bluntly stating you want to go home. Tell the nurse you don’t feel well, that you feel dizzy and need to sleep.
Request to rest for some time before returning to class to make the nurse feel you don’t necessarily want to go home.
7. Rig any medical tests
You want your story to be realistic, so fake a sleep. Don’t fake snoring—just cover your face with a pillow or rag to make it look like you’re being sensitive to migraine symptoms and trying to sleep it out.
If the nurse tries to run a few medical tests on you, such as taking your blood pressure, hold your breath to reduce your blood pressure to make it look like you are ill.
Tell the nurse that you threw up. They may want to take your temperature. If it’s an oral thermometer, run around a little or rinse your mouth with hot water before seeing the nurse raise your body temperature. You’d also look feverish.
8. Visit the nurse a second time
If the nurse sends you back to class, pay them a second visit to get you out of class. You’ll be sent home this time for good. Tell the nurse you can no longer concentrate in class and feel symptoms of the flu and nausea.
Don’t overdo your performance your symptoms. Just saying “I feel bad and have a headache” or “I can’t concentrate” is enough to get you sent home for being sick.
Sicknesses you can fake to stay back from school
-
Fever
You can fake fever to avoid going to or leaving school. Your parents or nurse may want to take your temperature, so prepare to fake a fever.
When it’s time for your temperature to be taken, ask to go to the bathroom. Have a cup of warm water to rinse your mouth to raise your mouth temperature. Don’t forget to flush the toilet before turning on the sink to keep your parents from being suspicious.
Read also: change an F grade to B in 7 days
Unfortunately, faking fever this was only works if your temperature is checked under your tongue. If the thermometer goes in your ear, you’ll need to hold it to something warm such as a light bulb or radiator.
If you think your parents will only check your temperature by touching your forehead, rub it rapidly while they are not looking. You could even use a blow dryer to heat your face for your forehead to get warm.
Another alternative is to soak a towel in warm water and pat your forehead, armpit, cheeks, or ears with it to make you sweaty.
Normal body temperature ranges from 97.5°F to 98.9°F (36.4°C to 37.2°C) and tends to be lower in the morning and higher in the evening. Most healthcare providers consider a fever to be 100.4°F (38°C) or higher, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
-
Diarrhea
You can fake diarrhea after having breakfast before school. Just rush to the bathroom suddenly, and stay longer.
-
Rash
You can fake a contagious rash or allergic reaction for school. Just scratch your chest until it gets bright red. Ensure a circular pattern to make it look real. Combine another sickness with the fake rash such as a headache or running nose to stay back from school.
-
Migraine
You can easily fake a migraine for school just by showing the symptoms. Make sure to pretend to get annoyed by sounds and light. Pretend that a specific side of your head hurts—it could be over your right eyebrow.
Frequently touch your forehead and frown. Fake feeling dizzy and not seeing well and ask people around you to lower their voice a little. You can ask for medicine like ibuprofen, but don’t take it—dispose of it when you have the opportunity.
-
Sore throat
You can fake sore throat, but you don’t want to fake strep throat though, to avoid the doctor’s office. Keep your mouth open to dry your throat and avoid food and drinks.
Have red cough drops to make your throat reddish. Try to grimace when you swallow.
When speaking, use a deep, croaky tone and constantly sip water. Complain that your throat feels like you swallowed a glass or is scratchy.
-
Headache, nausea, or cramps
You can simply say you have a headache, nausea, or cramps. The only action you can optionally fake here is vomiting, which can also be faked easily.
After your meal, complain about feeling sick. To vomit, you can dip your finger down your throat until you feel like vomiting—don’t dip it too deeply though to avoid hurting yourself.
You can even make a fake vomit with oatmeal and water. Put the oatmeal in your mouth, rush to the bathroom, and spit it in the toilet. You may show it to your parents or simply flush it and tell them about it.
If you started seeing your period, say that you have cramps. Your dad will probably understand and not want to talk about it.
As a male, you can fake stomach cramps. Stomach cramps only require you to see a doctor if they last longer than a few days, so you won’t be seeing a doctor immediately if you fake stomach cramps.
Consider faking stomach pain alongside to attract pity.
-
Cold or the flu
Cold or the flu can be highly contagious, so your parents will not want you to go to school to avoid infecting your classmates.
Just blow your nose in tissues and flush them frequently. Tell your parents you have a runny nose to get them to stop you from going to school due to the excessive cold.
Try to breathe through your mouth as if you have a stuffed nose when you’re next to your mom, dad, or older siblings.
Wear multiple layers of clothing to make it look like you have the chills and are freezing. Sneeze loudly and sniffle in the presence of your parents. If they are not in the same room, make it loud enough for them to overhear.
Make your lips look chapped by stretching them and also twist your nose to make it red. Complain that your bones hurt or that you feel pains and aches in every part of your body.
Meanwhile, to get out of going to school for reasons other than being sick, consider these excuses.
